Day 25: Curiosity Killed the Human

Day 25: Curiosity Killed the Human

artwork by Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become energetically overcome by the temptation to follow my mind within the belief that ‘maybe this time I will figure something out’ – thus disregarding the countless times that I have allowed myself to follow that same justification/excuse with each and every single time ending in an exhaustive waste – as no clarity was reached, nor was anything ‘figured out’ in any sort of practical manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately spite myself by/through continuing to ‘go down the road’ of curiosity within the mind, which has proved to only get me lost, as I vanish from the physical, from breathing, from self-responsibility and self-direction – allowing myself to sabotage myself by/through getting caught in the thick of a-maze-ing enticements, rendering myself useless as I am trapped in a dangerous maze leading nowhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed curiosity to take the driver’s seat of my body, and to thus then let curiosity take me for a drunken, intoxicated ride of energetic ups and downs wherein I allow myself to become possessed by an energetic experience instead of being in the driver’s seat of my life – here – practically, physically within/as stability, to ensure that I am in each breath considering all potential play-outs and possible consequences of my actions, and thus only placing myself in a position that is best for all life, not what is best for my self-interested desire to try/attempt to fulfill a curious attraction, which is always fleeting, transitory and bears nothing but rotten fruit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘give into’ the curiosity of the mind – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate curiosity into an addiction wherein I ‘talk myself into’ getting another energetic fix – thinking/believing/trusting: ‘just one more time, this will be the last, I can feel it!’ – not allowing myself to slow down so as to see/realize/understanding that’s what I ALWAYS say, but because I have already allowed myself to be taken over like a fiend, I do not want to face what I’m doing, but only excuse and justify why I should participate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conveniently ‘forget’ the past experiences I have had when partaking in the curiosity drug, suppressing  and ignoring all the times I was in an energetic stupor, zombified within a state of absolute self-disrespect and discomfort – all so I can keep chasing after the phantom of pleasure which isn’t real, yet has real consequences in this world, as I reduce myself to an energetic experience and thus sabotage my ability to direct myself in my world to change myself into an effective being who is able to make a significant impact in this world within what is best for all Life. 

artwork by Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see the danger in following curiosity – as I, when following curiosity, am in no way here to make clear decisions that affect not only myself, but all life – and instead make decision based on the impaired reasoning of energetic experiences as feelings without considering all beings, all potential consequences, and actually caring about myself and all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that curiosity was a ‘good thing’ as that was what I was told by my parents, teachers, media and various institutions – thus not seeing/realizing/understanding that I was being conditioned by an entire world of curiosity drug addicts; an entire world of humans who have a ‘family history’ of drug abuse and neglect – neglecting this entire world and the abuse and suffering that is rampant here, so as to justify why it is ‘okay’ to get off on an illusory experience in the head, as these are the same excuses and justifications that have been handed down generation after generations as the sins of the fathers who have tainted anything of innocence – who have tainted life down to the core – yet made it look ‘positive’ and ‘fun’ to distract one from looking at the horror of reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the cat that curiosity kills, as I actually kill myself as Life, suck myself as the physical dry, from slurping up the energy that curiosity supplies – within this making the tacit decision that I would rather die an irrelevant addict in the gutter of my mind than gather the courage to take the self-responsibility that is necessary to sort this world out so it can be a world that is worth living in – that is worth being born into.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the hallucinations and bizarre euphoric perceptions that curiosity brings, wherein I become distorted by my own false sense of power of believing that “I’m on my way to find the answer!” – when really, I’m only on my way to an insignificant death without a single moment of clarity or insight that was able to practically make a change in myself or this world, but instead gave up my one life to instead snoop around within my mind trying to find clues to an unsolvable puzzle – as I was the missing piece the whole time, but was too busy trying to find the ‘cure’ in my mind with curiosity.

artwork by Scott Cook

 I commit myself to rehabilitate myself from my addiction to the mind-drug of curiosity, by/through supporting myself with writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing - so that I am able to move myself as a stable, effective being that is able to make decisions without having to rely on the deviousness of the mind, but has instead become the self-directive principle within what is best for all Life. 

I commit myself to – when and as I see myself trying/attempting to talk myself into figuring something out in my mind – I stop, I breathe – I bring myself back here to the physical within the realization that nothing can be figured out within/through the mind, as the mind is in no way interested in me coming to a conclusion that is best for all life, but is only interested in distracting me with the bait of curiosity so that I waste any opportunity at becoming a force to change this world  - thus I instead trust myself to practically support myself here to bring myself to a necessary point of clarity by/through speaking or writing out the point until I am satisfied in my direction and am clear that I am able to take self-responsibility and face all beings involved in my decisions/actions for eternity without reaction.

I commit myself to strap myself into the driver seat of my life and to direct myself to what is best for all life - to no longer give up my seat in this one life to have an energetic ride that ends with me crashing and burning.

I commit myself to stop killing myself as Life with the drug of curiosity.

I commit myself to say no to the curiosity drug.

I commit myself to BE the answer, which has always been here, and stop trying to ‘find’ the answer, which is just a wild goose hunt until my eventual meaningless death, while the whole time the answer was staring me right in the face – a cosmic joke, lol.

I commit myself to cleanse myself of my family history of drug abuse and trauma with writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and walking here breath by breath to let go of the sins of the fathers so that I can create a drug-free world where being here is the only place to be, as the only place that matters.

I commit myself to expose the deception in claiming that curiosity is a ‘good thing’ and to bring to full awareness the absolute destruction, cruelty and devastation that following curiosity has created in this world, as we try/attempt to escape this world of brutality through our mind – not realizing there is no way to escape what we have created but through unlocking ourselves from our own self-created prison with the key of self-forgiveness within practical self-responsibility. 

artwork by Scott Cook

 For further support: 

Day 24: Seeing through the Illusion is NOT ENOUGH

Day 23: Blow My Mind Please
Day 24: MY MIND IS BLOWING UP!

Accept and Allow – the Contract with Death: DAY 22

Consumerism Starts in the Womb of the Mother: DAY 23

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